get uncomfortable
get uncomfortable
Embedded Files
Being comfortable can be dangerous. When we accept where we are without question, we deny ourselves the opportunity to experience something better. In retrospect, the times when I’ve grown the most are when I’m uncomfortable- starting a new job, moving to a new city, or meeting new people. It's easy to fall into routine but I've found that becoming comfortable with what is familiar can actually limit my potential to experience the world in a more appreciative way.
At the risk of growing complacent, I realized that I needed to break away from expectations, structure, and comfortability to learn what it means to be Nick. Throughout my seven months of international travel, I was pushed beyond being comfortable and into a world that demanded me to question who I was and what sort of life I want to live. However, this journey never truly ends. Having returned home, I continue to reflect on my experiences and find new ways to constantly explore the world.
While I’m excited to share my stories, provide recommendations, and let my experiences entertain, I hope to inspire people to step into the unknown- you might find something you like there. In sharing my thoughts and experiences, I hope to create a sense of community and I hope that you leave this site thinking about something you hadn't before.
However, the memories I've made and lessons I've learned, displayed on this site, are for me. For the Nick who feels like he has to hide himself. For the Nick who thinks he has to earn his voice. For the Nick who is scared of the unknown. For the Nick who deserves to be happy.
welcome,
to nickinthe.world
PROJECT
place & identity:
place & identity:
an international exploration of gay culture
an international exploration of gay culture
Along with the entertainment and momentary comfort, gay bars have broadened my perspective on what it meant to be gay while certainly leaving more questions than answers. Jeremy Atherton Lin, in his book “Gay Bar,” observantly states that “…men didn’t come to the city to be who they’d always been, but who they wanted to be. They didn’t move to a place they knew as a reality, but inscribed on their imagination…”. Was I really embracing myself in these experiences, or doing my best to become who I thought I should be? I became interested in exploring how places, especially those frequented by gay individuals, have an impressive power to either build up or tear apart our notions of personal identity. It is this motivation that has inspired my travels and provides context for my learning throughout the globe.
Throughout my travels, along with k-popping, siesta-ing, and studying, I am seeking to further explore the relationship between place and identity through the lens of gay culture.
The best way to do this, obviously, is to go to as many gay bars as possible in cities across the world. so now when I go out its not just a bad idea, it's for ✨research✨
read the background here
read the background here
Who am I? Where do I belong? These questions I have grappled with all my life. Throughout childhood and into early adulthood, as I have continued to explore aspects of my identity, these questions remain largely unanswered, at least in part. In reality, I’m not sure that there necessarily is an answer. Maybe who I am changes, or relies on more than who I just decide to be. Maybe I don’t belong anywhere, or maybe the place I belong changes too. Through this project, I would like to continue to explore aspects of my own identity in relation to the environments I interact with. Through the exploration of this relationship, I seek greater understanding of myself, my identities, the communities in which I belong, and the places that inspire personal growth.
“I can touch bricks, and for the moment don’t believe gayness is a social construct or stifling invention, but a legacy."
- Jeremy Atherton Lin
An increasingly important aspect of my identity is my sexual orientation. I am gay, and I identify as a man who is attracted to other men. This has always been the case, yet in the not-so-distant past that is something that I could never have expressed so boldly. I didn’t feel seen or heard in the place I came to realize that fact, and have struggled ever sense to land near people or places where I can feel truly comfortable with myself. More recently, my University has provided me with incredible opportunities to explore my academic and career interests, and build a community of skilled and motivated individuals. Although thankful for the experience, I have struggled to find spaces and communities where I feel accepted and comfortable. As a result, I’ve found myself visiting places off campus and interacting with individuals beyond the university town, leaving me feeling split between two worlds.
When professors misspoke of queer rights or peers joked of gay interactions, it stung and I looked for escape. Denver’s self-acclaimed premiere queer bar “Tracks” became a refuge of sorts, where I could forget about the comments and stares for a night. Finding comfort in being around like-minded individuals, I became eager to explore the places where those types of interactions happened. Over the next few years, I had the opportunity to visit “La Noche” in Puerto Vallarta, “Club Unity” in Montreal, and “Sidetrack” in Chicago, among others. Along with the entertainment and momentary comfort, these places broadened my perspective on what it meant to be gay and most certainly left more questions than answers. Jeremy Atherton Lin in his book “Gay Bar” observantly states that “…the men didn’t come to the city to be who they’d always been, but who they wanted to be. They didn’t move to a place they knew as a reality, but one inscribed on their imagination…” Was I really embracing myself in these experiences, or doing my best to become who I thought I should be? I became interested in exploring how places, especially those frequented by gay individuals, have in impressive power to either build up or tear apart our notions of personal identity.
“Gay bars are about potentiality, not resolution. Gay bars are not about arriving. The best ones were always a departure…”
– Jeremy Atherton Lin
The focus of this project extends beyond gay bars to explore the history and significance of such locations, among others. I want to learn why such places become popular and what types of other places can similarly become a haven for gay identifying people. I want to explore how places can become so tightly interwoven into a person’s identity, because I’ve yet to experience that feeling. For years I have carefully reflected on the places and communities I interact with, seeking to better understand how I can intentionally engage with my surroundings. Through such reflections, I’ve learned the value of new perspectives, building relationships, and welcoming new experiences with an open mind. I chose Europe as the primary location for further exploration of such ideas because of the rich queer history, inspiring physical landscapes, and unavoidable international influences. It is my intention to broaden my perspectives and build international relationships in ways that I haven’t before. Through experiencing a diverse set of spaces, events, monuments, artworks, and community gatherings, I hope to better understand a community I am unavoidably tied to as a part of my personal identity.
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locations & travels
locations & travels
Every place I visit becomes more than a point on a map. It becomes a moment of becoming. My travels trace the cities, neighborhoods, and queer spaces that have shaped how I understand myself and the world around me. These locations aren’t just destinations; they’re the landscapes where identity, curiosity, and courage meet.
View the map to learn more about the places I've been and my experiences in each city. A series of city cards offers a closer look at each place through my own experiences, reflecting on how identity is shaped by environment, how queer experience can shift across cultures and communities, and how travel continues to challenge and expand the way I understand both the world and myself.
understand the information here
understand the information here
the tags
the tags
Tags exist throughout the inspirations, connections, stories, and the journey pages to guide you through my thoughts and reflections. Click the tabs on any page to navigate to a different element of my journey that I find relevant. It may be entertaining to continue clicking through tabs, and see where you end up! Everyone's journey will look different.
the rankings
the rankings
On the each city card, four categories exist, all which are ranked 1-5. These rankings do not indicate value or quality of experience, but rather contribute to the informational context in which my research is grounded. The specific scores do not necessarily have quantifiable attributes, but rather reflect my experiences and observations throughout all my visits to the city.
LEGAL PROTECTION
Measures the extent to which laws, policies, and enforcement practices protect or endanger queer people and foreigners. Considers anti‑discrimination laws, gender recognition, policing climate, and the reliability of institutional support.
SOCIAL ACCEPTANCE
Captures everyday cultural attitudes toward queer people and foreigners. Considers norms around visibility, gender expression, public displays of affection, micro‑interactions, and how safe or comfortable it feels to exist openly in public space.
COMMUNITY ACCESS
Assesses how easy it is to find, enter, and navigate queer community—whether public, semi‑public, or underground. Considers discoverability, accessibility for newcomers/foreigners, coded or informal networks, and the effort required to connect.
PERSONAL BELONGING
Reflects my lived experience of identity, safety, and belonging in the city. Considers freedom of expression, emotional comfort, sense of connection or alienation, and how the place shaped your understanding of self.
the neighborhoods and spaces
the neighborhoods and spaces
Below the rankings are boxes of neighborhoods and spaces which I visited or observed. These are in no way all-encompassing, but rather represent my exploration within the city. Not all spaces were intended for me to discover at the time of my visit and they are therefore not listed. Inversely, some spaces I've visited were omitted for the safety of the individuals that frequent them. In a world where protection and safety is taken for granted, individuals expressing an identity contrary to those deemed "legal" or "appropriate" may very well suffer the repercussions.
the visits
the visits
I have been fortunate enough to visit some cities more than once, and call many home at least for a while. The visit tabs and their subsequent information share an overview of a specific time that I was in the city, highlighting my memories and observations. While these cards tend to generalize the characteristics of a city, experiences can vary drastically between dates, reasons for visiting, and people. The world is always changing!
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stories
stories
Stories are how we experience the world and connect with others. International travels serve now for me as not just an escape or a vacation, but as a vital platform for developing life-long relationships, memories, and skills.
Browse the gallery of images and flip the cards to read the stories. These may appear random, but use the tags at the bottom to reveal how they relate.
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connections
connections
Travel. Place. Identity. People. Culture. Language. Food. Life.
Our experiences inspire thoughts beyond tangible description, motivating our values and goals, and challenging us to explore life more intentionally. Read more about the emerging themes that connect my travels, research, and experiences.
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inspirations
inspirations
Inspiration rarely arrives all at once. More often, it appears in fragments: a conversation with a stranger, a new book, a song in another language, or a poster on the wall of a gay bar. Throughout my travels, I’ve found myself inspired by people, places, stories, and questions that challenge me to think more deeply about who I am and how I move through the world.
Navigate through this page to immerse yourself in a curated collection of creative and analytical works that question who weaves the fabric of society. These inspirations drove me to embark on this adventure and continue to shape the way I understand place, identity, and belonging.
goals, values, and considerations
goals, values, and considerations
my approach
my approach
My travels and experiences begin with curiosity, not extraction. When I enter queer spaces or engage with people abroad, I prioritize the comfort, safety, and well‑being of those around me. Some communities are protective or private for good reason, and adopt attitudes shaped by local histories, cultural norms, or ongoing discrimination. I move with that awareness, avoiding photography where it’s unwelcome, steering clear of questions that feel intrusive, and being mindful of behaviors that could unintentionally put locals at risk. Public affection, cultural misunderstandings, or even being seen with the “wrong” person can carry consequences in certain contexts. My presence is interpreted differently in every place I go, and I try to remain conscious of how my own assumptions and background shape what I notice.
ethics & representation
ethics & representation
I hold myself accountable for representing queer spaces and cultures with nuance, respect, and context. My writing is not meant to exoticize, sensationalize, or generalize. It is a reflection of one person, me, moving through the world as a male‑presenting, white American gay traveler. My sample size is one. My experiences are not universal, repeatable, or definitive, and they are not intended to prescribe identity for anyone else. They are simply my interpretations, shaped by my own identity and limitations. I aim to share them honestly and authentically, offering readers a chance to engage with empathy and openness, knowing that their own identities and backgrounds will shape how they interpret what I present.
growth & continued learning
growth & continued learning
This project is iterative and always growing. The mindsets I developed from being abroad continued with me long after returning to the United States, into new places, like India, and into new encounters with queer communities around the world. My identity is evolving, and so is my understanding of what it means to be a gay traveler. I hope to keep expanding this work, finding new ways to share my observations, lessons, and reflections. While queer communities are often built on shared experiences, I believe deeply that each person is an individual, deserving to be seen beyond labels or expectations. My goal is to honor that individuality, both in myself and in the people and places I encounter.
Additionally, this site is in no way complete, nor will it ever be complete, nor is it ever intended to be complete! I will continue adding stories, travels, and connections as I can, and hope that you will check in regularly to discover new content!
sponsors & support
sponsors & support
This project would not have been possible without the generosity and support of so many people and organizations. The Mines McBride Honors Program provided an Honors Enrichment Grant that helped me travel internationally, and the Boettcher Foundation supported my study abroad experiences in South Korea and the Netherlands through their enrichment funding. Adamson and my mom were constants, steady sources of encouragement from multiple time zones away. My friends and chosen family showed up for me in every way, helping me navigate the hard moments and celebrate the unforgettable ones. I’m also deeply grateful to the people I met along the way who inspired these stories, challenged my assumptions, and welcomed me into their homes and communities. Their openness shaped this project just as much as my own observations, and I carry their kindness with me as I continue learning and growing.
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